Texting & Driving – Not in California

Now a few months into the new & improved Handsfree California, I’ve seen about a 0% reduction in people putting down the phone while driving. Way to go CA!

Now another bill got passed last week outlawing texting while driving. Despite the fact that I truly believe this is dangerous, we’ll wait and see how effective the $20 fine will be (and good luck catching people).

here’s the article in the LA Times.

By the way, Here is a picture of a law abiding Californian. Good job buddy.

ESPN College Football Team

Australians love their beer too

Why is it the Australians have such great beer commercials?  Case in point:

Despair.com – - – Brilliant!

Don’t you hate those stupid motivational posters in the lunch room? If you boss is a complete dbag then there is certainly one on the wall.

This is a classic site that’s gotten a bit of a resurgence (due to the failing economy – I swear). Here are some of my favorite demotivators from despair.com:

The site now includes some great videos. If you’ve got some spare time (at work of course) check out this complaints video: The “It could be worse”  program. awesome.

Sex, Drugs & Power: L.A.? Nope. D.C. (Part II)

Recently Washington D.C.’s The Hill newspaper published its 2008 list of the 50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill (Sex, Drugs & Power: D.C. Style – oh yea!).

I love it that the daughter of my hometown representative made the list. Way to go! But wait, the article states that proud papa Zack Wamp feels, “It seems that when she was 11, an alien invaded her body.” Now that’s great representation. Thanks Zack.

BTW, how the hell did Virginia’s 700 yr old John Warner make the list? I know he was married to Liz Taylor, but come on. Also, all the republican girls are smoking and have names like “Ivy,” “Crystal,” “Brecke,” and “Briana.” My vote is for “The Doll” Crystal – damn.

D.C. is the new L.A.

Sex, Drugs & Power: L.A.? Nope. D.C.

My old buddy in DC recently gave me a hard time about being out in L.A. Specifically he feels, “The people there are more superficial than D.C.!” My only response for that is the recent finding from Wonkette!. This is probably only a low budget pilot pitch (spelling errors included), but just the same, feast your eyes on this gem: D.C. PREP.

(The original was yanked pretty fast so watch it while you can.)

If this gets picked up (by the CW of course), get ready D.C. – If the world doesn’t already think your town is Sodom reborn, it soon will.

BTW, I’m not salty at all that Chattanooga, TN came in second to D.C. in Outside Magazine’s The 20 Best Places to Live Now 2008: 20 great American towns that have withstood hard times and reinvented themselves. Not salty at all.

Lookout!

My friend sent this to me today at work. It was a good break from crunching numbers.

Budweiser – there’s a tear in my beer for you

I’m a big fan of beer and for some reason I ditched all the micro brews over time in favor of Budweiser. Call it a Bud, Redcoat, or Fatweiser, whatever. I like it and I don’t care. Forget all the other snooty beer, give me something that tastes good.

BTW, Miss Budweiser was one of my childhood obsessions. I traded her in for a new Miss Budweiser, but still dream of driving that damn boat.

Miss Budweiser obsession age 9-12:

Miss Budweiser obsession age 13 – present:

Anyway, I write this because every time I see a Budweiser add on TV I’m a little sad these days.

I don’t care about Clydesdale horses, frogs or idiots going “whazzzup?” I care about the recent spot showing a guy trying to decide what beer to take home from the store. (I’d pull it from YouTube but I can’t find it.) The customer is overwhelmed by the beer category with all the choices and a clean cut, friendly, subtlety cool, average Joe Bystander starts rolling off a list of good beer qualities and what a hard choice it is. The customer thinks it over and makes the decision on his own – ah! Budweiser. In the parting shot, the customer says, “somebody should pay you for this.” Joe Bystander turns, smiles, waives goodbye, and a Budweiser logo becomes visible on his shirt. (Brilliant advertising!)

I tell you this because years ago I delivered beer for a summer and know what kind of stand up people these everyday folks are. That commercial is not far off the mark. I again find myself working in the CPG business and know that these hardworking people are what make this country a great place. The Coke guy, the Bud guy, the Fedex carrier, the Mayfield Milk man, the Frito-Lay woman, and all the other delivery people are a part of what makes this country a what it is and I respect the hell out of all of them. Their friendly competition, dedication, humor, and especially their hard work is extremely admirable.

Here’s the rub: You probably heard that America’s largest brewer, Anheuser-Busch (A-B), was acquired by hostile bid by Belgium’s InBev to the tune of $52 billion. The real stink of the deal is that InBev CEO/Axeman Carlos Brito & club borrowed $45B of the $52B needed. The debt burden is estimated at 12.4 times A-B’s combined cash flow.  Simple translation: the massive amount of debt is 12.4 times larger than the net amount of cash taken in over the entire year less all the cash spent.  Ouch-Hard to pay that kind of loan off. Times are going to get tough as the belt gets tightened. A-B was terribly mismanaged for years and now they are paying the price. Efficient markets…bla, bla, bla, I get it. This happens.

I don’t have any love lost for the top fatcats who will lose their cushy jobs doing basically nothing with a product that sells itself due to a) it being a great product b) having incredible customer loyalty and c) serious brand equity. Yes, that was all built on the back of great marketing & sales, but the fatcats will get a “package” giving them a solid chunk of coin and ample time to take a Mediterranean cruise for a year or two before looking for the next company to mismanage.  

The common folk of A-B will be hit the hardest. I’m talking about all the worker bees at HQ, all the production plants, and especially the sales reps and drivers. These are all hard working folks who are going to be facing tough times ahead due to consolidation in an already terrible economy. I feel for these people because they are the good guys. They represent what is good about America to me, and now for them, it is going to get even harder.

hot girls and d-bags: a combo I will never understand.

You see it all the time.  Why are the hottest girls with the biggest d-bags?  One site is entirely dedicated to documenting and discussing this phenomenon.  There truly are a lot of d-bags out there.

 

For your surfing pleasure: HCwDB

 

I’m hands-free baby! Can you hear me?

The population of Star-Trek impersonators increased by about 24 Million this week – all due to drivers in the state of California.  Beam me up Scottie.  (Who knows what the number is when you include all the unregistered drivers.) We all have little blinky communicators stuck in our ears now. 

 

 

 

The first week of hands-free California was glorious.  It really seemed like California drivers are taking it to heart and paying more attention to other driving activities like putting on make-up, painting nails, shaving, eating, reading the paper, texting, ipod shuffling, playing solitaire, smoking joints, picking their noses, slapping their kids in the back seat, playing the harmonica, changing clothes, throwing garbage at other cars, driving with their lights off at night, passing on the shoulder, and the ever popular drinking.  Californians are great multitaskers. 

 

It’s a step in the right direction and texting should come next.  Motorcycle driving laws should be revisited too.  Come on – how many traffic jams are caused by a motorcycle getting clipped when passing between cars?  It’s legal, but that one guy causes havoc for hundreds of thousands when he wrecks (it happens every morning).   I’ve kept an eye out for people on their phones this week & spotted several – mostly women (sorry ladies – it’s what I saw).  I hope you all get tickets.

NYT article

 

Here’s a skit from Skyler Stone:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoMKgHgp_SI&NR=1